No one

April 25, 2019 by Aspergers Girls 2 Comments

I hate you in the way I hate myself

I love you in the way I hate myself

I lust for you in the way I hate myself

Rising the wave of turpentine

Aching to rinse my smudged edges clean

Salty thirst

To find no-man land

The outer regions of wanting to know

Fighting the current of didn’t know

Didn’t quite get there

 

Until judgment is judged

The complexity of tidal wave

Not precise to call them thoughts at all

Trickles of what ifs and what haves

What was and what could be

Vast prisms of splintered light

Blurring self in blessed water

Baptismal suffering

White-washing down

Delegating the way it ought be

So that the way it might be

Vanishes out of sight

 

Until truth

Until breath

Until silence

Until you

 

I hate you in the way I love myself

I love you in the way I love myself

I lust for you in the way I love myself

Dancing the waves of sunlight

Aching to rinse my hot edges pure

Dancing thirst

To find cleansing waters

The outer regions of knowing you

Embracing the current of truth

There, at last

 

Until judgment is judged

The complexity of sunshine birthed

Not precise to call them thoughts at all

Trickles of what ifs and what haves

What was and what could be

Vast prisms of splintered light

Blurring self in blessed water

Baptismal suffering

White-washing down

Delegating the way it ought be

So that the way it might be

Vanishes out of sight

 

Until truth

Until breath

Until silence

Until no one

 

Samantha Craft, 4.25.19