Belly of a Star

my practice of compassion


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Heart Scar

These are the tracings
Of where I’ve been
Lining my body
Across my skin
The time where I fell
And bruised my knee
A heart scar remains
In memory
Shaped like a Valentine
Oddly it bends
As I round
The crooked corners
Of life again

~ Marcelle

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The Way of the World

The Way of the World

1. They lash out and blame. They put themselves first, thinking they are enough, they are right, they have the answers. They see through a thin veil that blinds them. They know nothing, but proclaim to know everything. They do more harm than good, but blame the others for their harm. They can’t see themselves, so they throw stones at others.

2. They think they are special, unique, one of a kind. They absorb up love and attention, and seek out more. Though they remain empty, they think themselves full. But ever hungry, they suck on others, taking what is not theirs to begin with but thinking themselves owners of others’ praise and wellbeing. They take and take and rarely give back. When they do give it is only to self-serve and reclaim something they think belongs to them.

3. They recreate events to match their expectations and previous knowledge. They rationalize by reinventing the past into a feasible version that upholds their limited belief system and attachment to self-created truth. They believe what they want to believe at the expense of anyone else that stands in the way of holding onto the illusion they have created as reality. Their close mindedness keeps them trapped in this imaginary land of what is and how things are, and to justify their truth, they grasp on to anything that supports and uplifts their fantasy. All else remains false, for once exposed to the light, once rationalized or erased by another’s view, the person upholding limiting beliefs would suffer a greater consequence than death, the discovery that they aren’t right.

4. They think another is trying to hurt, damage, or expose them. They hide in these shells of protection from a cruel world. Some of them the most boldest and fiercest of all in mannerism and behavior, yet still hiding. It is a self-serving molded shield, a way of bouncing off what is said and told by another, and instead focusing on the potential harm. All words can pose as potential threat, so all is deciphered and filtered through a discriminating and judgmental funnel. What appears to be caution is in actuality an inability to listen to another’s perception and ideas. The person is so focused on self and self-preservation that he or she destroys the opportunity for growth. The others are neither seen nor heard, and shy away, or steer away, afraid that they too are merely invisible to another.

5. They think that the others just aren’t there yet, just don’t know enough, don’t see enough, aren’t ‘enlightened’ enough, and they hide under a false bravado of thinking themselves better, not because they are better but because they believe they have been gifted by some great unknown force the answers others know not. Instead of understanding the concept of all, they understand the singular concept of one, believing they house the answers, and feeding of others who they assume do not. They are not humble, but claim themselves so. They are not wise, but think they are the wisest. They are not enchanted or magical, but claim the vacant spaces of people’s hearts as their own. Taking what is not theirs, and occupying places that neither belong to them nor welcome them.

6. They make blanket statements that are mere clichés of society, gathering up the bits and pieces of their history they like and discarding the rest. Finding parts that make sense to them and them alone, and using this as the bleeding-poison on their spearheads. They shoot out their truths as if their information gathering were holy and true, as if their way is the right and only way, as if one person, one human, could feasibly represent the truth for all. They hide behind dogma and closed-mindedness. They tinker with new ideas only if the baggage they already carry approves of the new hitchhiker. They do not believe in anything except that which serves their purpose and calling, and in this way they believe ultimately in nothing.

7. They are envious but cannot see their envy. They call out for attention in ways that are marked with seeking. Yet, they seek not through obvious measures. Their weeping is evident in the masks they don. All that is is not what it seems. Attention is sought through victimization and martyrdom. That which is brought out into the light, isn’t submerged in the light at all, but instead absorbed through the egoless-portrayed, and the burdened sponge of self-reasoning and self-exposure. Those that occupy this habitat of destruction do so for a direct cause: to self-preserve and build the self further. Their taste is bitter, in so being their words seem as honey but taste as sulfur. The burdens they carry are never laid down to rest, but dredged up again and again for the misery of self. Those who labor this way, rest in their own filth, and know naught. Instead they are the ones quick to point out the meek and feeble-minded. They are the non-innocent turned inside out to appear sweet and fragile.

8. They are the ones that see only as they wish to see, and make claim to know that what they see is truth. In this way in which they view another, they hurt another. They know nothing except what is before them, and any threat to their existence is alarming. They harbor deep regret, and through this regret they feed a deeper seeded insecurity. They do not like other people, simply because they are other people. No one need substantiate their unworthiness, as they are viewed unworthy without action or marking. No further analysis is needed: He who is not the other is not enough. This is the way of the ego to supersede vengeance with comparison. No one can hold up to the high expectations, and all are made less in this one’s presence.

9. What is said, they twist. No matter the cause or reason, the words are made wrong. The power of this trickster is to take what is real to one and make it false, thus shaking the foundation of the other, and making the other mistake his own being for wrong and false. This is a game made by two: The first being unaware as he approaches the marked one, the second being too born into the game to care. They create a battle out of no weapons and no playing field. What is not true to one is true to the other, and so forth. So that the one is damaged in not existing as truth, and the other is built upon within his barriers of being right. This is the way of most of the world, where one is claimer and the other erased of self-proclamation.

10. If you are not what they expect then you are not good enough. You will fail if they think you have not upheld your end of the bargain. Before you were even born they set out to make standards of measurement, to bind you in their self-serving laws and rigid ways. As you approach, they surmise your weaknesses and abstract from you your very strength. They don’t see you as a potential threat. You do not scare or harm them. But yet you frighten them at an unseen level, at their core of belief. For where you stand does not suit their judgment, and the lines they draw become blurred and undone. Where you stand doesn’t fit their infrastructure, and yet they cannot place you elsewhere. Their boxes therefore become empty, but not before judgment is made and verdict passed. In so making you not enough and wrong, in so ostracizing and rejecting your essence, they are able to keep their rigid race running. In so claiming you enough, they would erase their very selves


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The Forgetting

And the day they began to know, they forgot that they housed their own hearts and hearts of the all. And in that forgetting, they became endless in their search for truth. Forgetting the unquenchable desire for knowledge was the very poison to the hidden hearts. That to love and be love was all that mattered. That in the end, each road led back to this. If only their minds could stop enough to see. If only their thoughts had eyes. ~ Samantha Craft